Did you know that the saying "balls to the wall" has nothing at ALL to do with testicles? It is totally a flying reference that implies giving it all you've got, so feel free to say it in church!
this comes from a very reliable source...
I have been struggling with some things lately. Several things, actually.
Remember when I said I wish there was a way to 27 thing fling my mind? Well, I have been Opening Up Boxes filled with Issues that have been Packed Up and taken with me Everywhere, and I have finally decided to do a little Decluttering.
I have some things that I think I need to get off my chest.
So...
I'm just gonna put it all out there...
Balls to the Wall...
Here we go...
- I hope that someday you can see me for who I try to be. And I'm sorry that's not always the same as who I end up being. Please, just... have a little faith in me. I know I can do this.
- I really really need you right now. So much. I'm going through some things that I know you could help me with. I want to ask for your help, but I can't. You are such an amazing person... and... I want you to keep thinking that I am amazing too.
- I wish I could find a way to share my Faith with you. I see how much you need it... and it's a Gift that I have been given in abundance. And, while I am soooo thankful for that gift, if I knew how, if I could ease your struggles even a tiny bit, it would be yours in less than a heartbeat.
- It reeeaaally sucks that you're never there for me when I need you. And, please don't take this the wrong way because I love you and I will always be here for you No Matter What but... 98% of the drama that you spend so much time worrying yourself sick over is Self Created. Remember??? The definition of Insane is doing the Same Thing and Expecting Change.
- I get the feeling you don't really want to talk to me. If that's the case well, then... just keep doing what you're doing I guess... But I think you're one of the most beautiful, transparent passionate people I've ever met. And I think about you almost every day.
- It hurts me to watch you never get any further than trying to make yourself happy. When will you realize that your flesh can never be fully satisfied? Every time you satisfy one desire, there will be another bigger, darker desire waiting to take it's place. This is where depravity is born. Please don't waste your life mistaking physical pleasure for love... or numbing your emotions instead of just dealing with your realities. You are beautiful and you're worth so much more than that.
- I know I've forgiven you and we've moved on. I truly believe that we are in a completely different place now. But sometimes I can't help but think about it. And... I still don't understand how you could do that to me...
Okay that was only a 7 Thing Fling. But I can only dig so deep at one time. And they were Heavy so it still counts as 27 ;)
8 comments:
Beautifully written. I love your heart. I think the first thing could by said by so many women. You are so transparent & relatable. I'm so glad you stumbled across my blog & I've had the chance to "know" you.
awwww. i love you cause you make me feel all warm & fuzzy :)and because you get me... and you still like me anyway!
You have such an amazing heart and I feel the same way as Rebecca, I'm *SO* blessed that you came into my life, my blog & my facebook :) It was so incomplete without you! Your awesome and funny spirit uplifts me every day! You have such an impact on everyone who is lucky enough to know you :)
and ty. ily guys :)
idk what you guys see but i am so glad that you do :) the two of you have helped me much much more than you know. who knew that something so small as knowing what kenessee was would connect me with two amazing women :)
I am so glad that you got what you needed to out. I have done that before and it feels so much better afterwards, doesn't it?
(((((Heather))))) No words, just a lotta love, prayer, and empathy. You are God's BEST! (((((HUGS))))) sandi
BTW~only YOU could teach me about a phrase like that~LOLOL! ~chuckle~ (((((HUGS))))) sandi
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