So, apparently it's Friday.

And that means it's time for...

Mommy Confessionss

Hmm... what to confess what to confess???

Whatever it ends up being, you're getting it in List Form.

Because I just saw the Listiest.List.Ever.

Aaaand ... now I want to make one.

I have to get the Martha out somewhere.

Lucky you.

• I am totally jealous of Christine's Listiest.List.Ever & I'm secretly plotting to make a Listier.Listiest.List.Ever.

• I ... am a horrible horrible friend. Yep. I totally suck. If my friends call me I will always make time for them. They all know they can show up at my house, any time they want or need to. And they do. But, I don't really call much. I mean, I could call. But I'm not so sure they'd be happy when I called them at 1:30 in the morning. Because, for some odd reason, that is always about the time I think about calling people. I think I've made it to like 3 birthday parties. Iwasonlyontimefor1. I also made it to a bridal shower, a bachelorette party, and was in a wedding. Which I was on time for. You're welcome Jene:) So...this was actually a pretty good year! In all fairness I did warn them all up front. But since they are SO amazing they love me anyway. And not only do they call, they are always at birthday parties. Wow. You guys really do rock;)

Umm... let's see. What else.

• I am always late. Always. No matter what. And it makes me insane. I hate to be late. But, it seems like the harder I tried to be on time, the later I am. Um. Ya. Soooo I don't really try anymore. Now ... I kinda just roll with it. Oddly enough, I've been alot less late. And, just to let ya know... I know when I'm late. So you know how you call me ... to tell me that I'm late, forcing me to stop whatever it is I am doing and answer the phone so you won't be mad at me for being late and not answering the phone??? Ya. That just makes me later. Because I have to STOP what I'm doing. I know. I'm late. I'm really really sorry. Again. I suck. But... I still have to finish whatever it was that was making me late in the first place.

• And, usually... when I say I'm fine what I really mean is that I am FreakedoutInsecureNeuroticandEmotionallyunstable. But ... fine sounds much better. ONLY read the 1st and the3rd ones. The others are just... well ... disturbing. If you can't control yourself and ONLY read those 2 DON'T CLICK THE LINK. I really should put a disclaimer on here somewhere about those links. Whaddya think? *I am not responsible for the content behind the links. I just found it. I didn't write it.

I'm going to stop now because I think I'm giving myself a complex.

Don't worry I'll be *fine. Really.

Open Letter to ... The Creator. Ya. It's late. So what?

Dear God,

Please forgive me for losing my patience with Thing4 when he cleaned the kitchen floor with toothpaste last night.

Thanks for all of the awesome *things You give me.
And for making Thing6 the*MostCutestBabyEver sooooo snuggly:)
And quiet.

And Thank You for the *minty fresh scent in my kitchen now. It goes well with the Mr. Clean w/ Febreeze.
Oh .. and Thank You for Febreeze because it rocks!

So, I see You've decided to clear some time in my schedule.
And...I'm just kinda curious what this means exactly.
I'm sure You have a plan, but...sometimes Your plans aren't so fun for me until after they're over. If that's the case this time.... could you please send me a memo so I can be prepared???

And speaking of preparation, I have the Mary heart down pretty good, but I'm still stuck with this Martha mind so, is there anything we can do about that?

I have a few questions I was hoping You might answer for me. Not exactly *Secrets of the Universe questions, so maybe You will.

• Why is it that You created toddlers with more energy than thier mommies?

I mean, I am the one who has to chase them.
I was thinking I might be a little more effective if I could actually catch them.

• And Why is it that when I tell one child Noooooo, another one comes right along trying to do the same. exact. thing. that the previous child just got in trouble for.

What's up with that???

• And why is it that when there is a car, tools and a man in a garage, alllll of the *men from miles & miles are drawn to it like somebody pulled out a big magnet and sucked them all in. 

Where do they come from? Does it really take that many men to change brakes???

I think that's all of the questions I have. For now.


Just so You know, out of all the Things That Rock! YOU are the *Most rockin!

Come As You Are

Hey! It's Tuesday! Know what that means? It means you should be at the Un Mom, the blog that pops up when you google stuff like "I am just going to type in something random and hope something turns up".

For reals.

Although, that isn't really THAT random. Really random would be "do ninjas like cake?" which also, apparently, gets you to her blog.

• The Jon & Kate thing. It's EVERYWHERE. Everywhere! Why???? I just don't get it. Have we truly been reduced to finding entertainment in a struggling marriage? Really??? Seriously??? Why??

• Someone @twittered that u were getting old when you didn't know what channel MTV was on. And ... I already feel old enough so... I 'm now following MTV on Twitter.

• I always say *thank you to Thing6 (thelast&finalbabyfromtheh&hbabyfactory whichisnowclosed fooorrreeevvveeerwhojusthappenstobethemostcutestbabyever) when I make his grabby little hands give something up. Today when I took something he was trying to put in his mouth, he held out his hand to me and said Thank you Thank you Thank you. Okay, it sounded a little more like tauc da tauc da tauc da. Close enough for me. Not close enough to actually give it back but...

• Would you think I was the Worst~Mother~Ever if I told you I seriously want to invest in shock collars?? For the kids?? Just at bedtime???

• I have some friend requests on Facebook that I'm just scrolling right past because I have no idea who they are. Do I know them??? Should I know them??? What if I should and I ignore them and they get offended??? So whoever you are ... Who Are You??? Cause until I find out I'm just gonna keep ssscccrrrooolllllliiinnnggg right past ya.

• Now I'm really wondering...do ninja's eat cake? I know ninja turtles like pizza. But that's about the extent of my *ninja knowledge.

• I CANNOT get the theme song for Camp Rock out of my head. That has to be 20 different kinds of sick. I've been singing Jonas Brothers aaaalllllllllllllll day. Freakin Disney Channel.

Cause we rock! We rock! We rock on!!!

What really? Reeaally?

Oh. My. Goodness.

Do you think it's bad that before I can write anything I have to *clean my blog.

Yep. I just scroll up and down looking for things I don't like so I can delete them.

Some ... ahem Beenie... might call that ocd.

Others ... me!!!... might disagree.

Okay, so I like things a little ... neat. And if that neatness extends to mayo on a piece of bread then, so be it!

Alright I admit it. it's sick. I cannot, cannot make a messy sandwich.

I like things to be neat. Not that they ever are. Well, they are, but only for about 2.5 seconds, which, I just happen to know is Thing4's record for completely trashing a *just scrubbed bathroom. Or a clean pair of pajamas.

Tonight he was skateboarding inside the house. Inside! The kids were all laying on the couch watching DCMovie so I went to "the Garage" (read: man!cave) to talk to SomeOne and within 7 minutes Thing3 was outside to let us know that Thing4 was not only skateboarding through the house, but he had built some kind of ramp involving chairs & jumpropes. Seven minutes.

Maybe he's going to be a world famous engineer or something.

According to him he's going to be a *Fire Fighter.

Don't mistakenly assume ...as I did...that that means he's actually going to put out fires though.

No.

He's just going drive around in the Fire Truck with the siren on all day.

Because that's a *sweet ride.

And he can go fast.

And because the other cars move out of the way for the Fire Truck.

And that's awesome.

Think he spends too much time in the man!cave?

Cheater Cheater Cheater

Since I like it so much, and because I was SO good at it last time, It is once again time for...............

Mommy Confessionss

I cheat.

Yep.

I'm a cheater.

I say *maybe to my kids instead of giving them a real answer.

Even when I know what the answer is going to be.

I know.

Bad mommy.

But I can't help it.

I felt like I was telling them NO all the time.

"No. You cannot shoot your brother off of a trampoline cannon."

"No. You cannot get up on the stage at Hannah Montana & do the *Ice Cream Freeze."

"No. You cannot slide down the skateboard ramps at the skatepark at church."

No.

No.

No.

Meanwhile SomeOne Elsee is saying...

Sure.

Sure.

Sure.

"Sure. You can use those 2 big hawk feathers to fly to China."

"Sure. You can use this model rocket to shoot your brother to the moon."

"Sure. You can color yourself as a rainbow. Use these markers!"

I was tired of being the mean one. So now I just say...

"Um... maybe. We'll see."



The Mommy Confessions is a weekly series by Life Starring the Kids & Me.

As moms, many of us have things that we would like to get off our chests or that we would just like to confess. So here is the place to do it!

Once you read here, pop over to her page and link up with Mr. Linky (if he's in the mood).

Join in and spill it....

What's YOUR Mommy Confession?

You play ball like a giiirrrrrrrrl!

So, I had a pretty good day today. You?

I've been having a great big AHA moment.

Those are always good ;)

It's like there were all of these things just dumped out on the floor of my mind ... just there.... kinda like a bunch of Legos that have been knocked over and abandoned ... probably by Thing6... for a brighter, shinier new toy.

All of a sudden they've become this intricate thing like... well...like the things you can build with Legos if you can read the instructions. Which I can...not do apparently.

I know. Just follow the directions! It's not rocket science.

Thing 1 can.

Aaaand I'm feelin smarter and smarter all the time.

There should be a list of what to REALLY expect when you're expecting.

#1 Atleast 1 of your children will be smarter than you. And know it.

but you can blame that on ...

#2 Losing brain cells is a part of labor.
One minute they're there and the next...they're just gone.

Fooorrreeevvveeerrr.

In my mind this is said in the voice of the little kid from The Sandlot.

Ever seen that movie? Oh come on you're killin me Smalls!

I would look up a clip for you but I know how much you like to research things for yourself.

Ok I have absolutely nowhere to go after that so...

I DENIED Thing4 the mommykisswhichmakeseverything,everythingbetter today.

Ya. Mean mommy.

He was playing outside and got hurt and came in to get some *feel better so I hugged him and asked him what happened.

He looked at me in all teary eyed seriousness and said "Mommy can you kiss my butt cause I hurt it when I fell off my skateboard."

#3 Always Always Always ask where it hurts before you offer to kiss it.

Yes, they are all mine.

So I read something earlier that completely crackered me up.

It was a post devoted to one of the first questions and most asked questions that I hear when someone finds out that I have six children.

And I Completelyyy Understood her frustration.

My 2nd Most asked question is tied between "You mean you gave birth to all of them???" (The answer is yes by the way. Every single one of them. ) and "Do they all have the same father?'' Again yes.

Sometimes I am tempted to say ... no. they all have three different fathers.Each. I'm not really sure what they're expecting to hear.


My favorite (picture this word dripping with sarcasm) definently has to be "You know what causes that right?" or any variation of that sentence. Apparently there are many ways to ask the exact same question. And they are all equally annoying.

Um.... ya. We've managed to figure that out. Thankss... ;)

What are your Most Asked mom questions?

The Mommy Confessions....dumdadumdum

SO, I was clicking around websites earlier. I know. There were probably 8 trillion other *things I could have been doing that would have been waaaay more productive.

But I wasn't doing them. I was doing that instead.

While I was doing that I came upon

Mommy Confessionss

And I liked it! So....

TADA...that was my 1st confession.

I wasted an hour and a half today reading blogs when I could have been doing more productive things like scrubbing the bathroom floor. Again. Because somehow, even though it gets cleaned every morning, by the end of the day, I feel like I've stumbled into a citgo gas station bathroom.

Which leads me to another confession. I don't really clean the bathroom every morning. I clean it every time I go in there. But I didn't want you to know how anal retentive...er...ocd I am so I wasn't going to tell you that.

But really, I have to be.

There would be no other way to maintain my sanity if I wasn't.

There are (atleast) 6 sets of dirty kid shoes (which can get very dirty by the way) trampling all over it all day, boys who somehow *forget to lift the lid (which is not for lack of being reminded I might add), toddlers who like to make *tissue snow (read: tear up the toilet paper into teeeeeny tiiiny bits and throw them up into the air so they will fall all over the floor, which, by this time, probably has water all over it (because no matter how much clean water the dog has in a bowl the kitchen she prefers to drink out of the *bowl in the bathroom), the mirror has a filmy layer over 1/2 of it because certain little girls decide *leave messages in lipgloss and then try to wipe it off (so mommy doesn't see) ~with toilet paper~ so now the toilet paper is stuck to the floor AND the mirror, not to mention the footprints ON the toilet seat because for some unknown reason atleast half of my children squat ON TOP OF IT to poop.

I don't know why.

I swear I did NOT potty train them in the back yard.

So, if you ever come to my house and have to use the bathroom, please be aware that I try to pick up the bathroom every hour or so, but it only takes 20 minutes for all of that to happen so.....enter at your own risk.

And guess what???

There was another confession.

I'm pretty good at this ;)

Right on!

Ok, while I'm at it I might as well admit......

I know almost every theme song on the disney channel. Including Hannah Montana. Which has got to be some kind of sick. I even caught myself thinking that Billy Ray Cyrus is pretty yummy now, which is odd because his achy breaky heart never did anything for me before. So now I'm wondering, is he really yummier now or does bad taste come with getting old????

I totally ball at the end of Prince Caspian when they have to leave Narnia EVERY single time I watch it.

I am a terrible *what I want to be when I grow up role model* because earlier today, when Thing1 asked Thing5 she wanted to be when she grew up she answered "A big scary monster".
To which Thing2 added "Well mommy you always say anything's possible."
Well...that's not quite what I had in mind when I said that.


Aaaaand the worst confession of all.......

I am a secret~closet Twilight fan.

I've read all of the books.

Okay. Twice.

And seen the movie.

Um....several times.

And I am going to see New Moon AS SOON AS it comes out.

Which, I just happen to know is Nov. 20th.

I think I'm all confessed out.

For now.

Do YOU have a mommy confession???
Link up over at Life starring the Kids and Me and let us know.

Randomness

So how was ya'lls day today?

Mine was good. I've been organizing;)

Today has been ~& still is~ one of those days where my brain just decides to do it's own thing. Without consulting me. It just goes fluttering around. From here to there. Picking random things up and cluttering my head with them.

And then all of those random things keep jumbling around until I declutter them. (I know. I love her too! I'm too...er.... OCD about cleaning to use her system but.... I really love all of her lists!!!!)

Hmmm..I really need to find some type of recovery program for this list thing.

I wonder if I can 27 fling thing (however you say it) my brain. Maybe not so much the 27 thing part. But definently the fling part. I can just picture myself standing there flinging things out of my brain.

But I'm not cleanin up the mess!

Speaking of *things. Thing5 was laughing about something (she's very random too) and she looked at me and says "Mommy you cracker me up!" And now everytime I think about something funny I hear her saying that and it crackers me up too.