Tuesday, August 4, 2009

I don't even think words exist to adequately describe the hellaciousness that was my day

Yesterday was the.day.from.HELL. I am POSITIVE that somehow, at some time ... atleast once during the day I absolutely earned the Worst.Mother.EVER! award. Not exactly what I was aiming for.

I was in Cdo Clean mode.What's the best way to get something CLEAN???? Move EVERYTHING out of your way! Aaaaand while you've already got everything torn apart ya might as well just rearrange the Entire room. And if you're switching that room, why not just do 2 or 3 or 4 more???? While I was busy doing that... the Little Things were busy doing All.Kinds.Of.Stuff.
  • Thing1 put a hole in his thumb with the stapler.
  • Thing2 hit Thing 3 in the mouth with a hammer.
  • A hammer!!!
  • She was trying to *fix her chair and apparently Thing3 thought it would be a good idea to stand BEHIND her.
  • While she swung.a.hammer.
  • You can imagine all the bloodshed for yourself.
  • ALSO .. apparently... everything I say to Thing2 is considered (by her) to be *optional suggestions as opposed to the adamantinstructionthatyouMUSTobey that I consider it to be.
  • I really wanted to hit her.
  • I didn't.
  • I wouldn't.
  • I've never hit anyone in my entire life and I'm certainly NOT going to start with my 8yo. daughter.
  • Who I really do love so much. 
  • Even though her behavior was not quite so loveable.
  • But I really really wanted to.
  • What kind of mother wants to hit their child????
  • It is IMPOSSIBLE to walk away when you are a sahm of 6.
  • Okay, I'm exaggerating a little bit.
  • It's not impossible to walk away... but it is completely impossible to walk away ALONE!
  • Thing6 aka *theDiaperAnnihilator found the way out of his diaper
  • He was so quiet I thought he was still sleeping.
  • It had some stuff in it.
  • He used it to decorate. All.over.his.crib.
  • While I'm giving the baby a bath Thing5 comes in to *potty.
  • And for some strange reason has to take off every article of clothing currently being worn to do this.
  • She does what she has to do and instead of immediately regarbing, takes off running...
  • Out the door....
  • So if you happened to be driving in Tampa yesterday and you saw a soaking wet crazy woman carrying a half naked baby in a towel chasing a totally naked 3 yo around the  backyard....
  • Ya.
  • That would have been me.
  • Aaaaand I put a PadLock on the fridge.
  • You think I'm joking.... but I am SO serious.
  • Access Denied!
That's not even half of what went on... but I'm getting Emotionally.Exhausted. just thinking about it. Soooo I'm going to go daydream about taking a nap. And you, well, you can go get your random on.

Keely's Random is *SuperFly.

The Un Mom


16 comments:

Butterfly Kisses said...

ignore my typos :)

Brittanyy :D said...

Holy snap that was a crazyyy day! But i do have to admit when i pictured you carrying a thing 6 with thing 5 running naked....i laughed hysterically....sorry :D

Butterfly Kisses said...

Wow my days feel that crazy sometimes, but only HALF that crazy..I think because I have just 3 kids. I tell my husband all the time..I couldn't imagine having like 8 or 9. Last night, we put the baby to bed..and I said one down, two more to go. And I said, imagine if it was one down 6 more to go? That would be hard? I think in your post, I just caught a glimpse of what that would be like.

Oh, I can imagine the blessings as well. It really would be wonderful to have 6 kiddos...but on those cray days, it really is crazy, isn't it?

Amanda said...

why is it when one thing goes wrong they all go wrong! I hate those days...mommy needs a drink...hope today is better

Melissa said...

Yikes, sorry for your day! I havent had a day like that in a while (knock on wood). BUT, had a horrible day yesterday at VBS with my 5 kids in my crew!! Hope today was better!

Raven said...

Oh man, what a day! I feel for ya, and I feel worse for laughing at your pain, but your retelling was hilarious, especially the part about chasing the naked one in the yard with the baby in your arms. Priceless. And, don't feel bad about the really wanting to smack your kid part, I've had those days, not that I would, ever, but oh did I want to.

Hang in there!

Raven

Rebecca said...

Oh man I wish I had been driving through Tampa yesterday, take a picture for your scrapbook. ;) Sorry you had such a rough day. I hope thing 3 is okay, that must have been so scary! We have to get a lock on the fridge too...the kids think they're much too grown. I hope today is a MUCH better day for you!

Christine said...

O.M.G now THAT was a day from hell! I'm so sorry it was so crazy! I hope *thing3 is ok, that must have scared the crap out of you! I FOR SURE have those moments where I wanna wail on my kid, unfortunately it's the little one, and of course I would never DO IT, but MAAAAAN does she make me WANNA! So don't feel bad :) Today HAS to be better ... RIGHT?!?! You deserve girlie, I think *I* need a drink after just HEARING about your day!

storyteller at Sacred Ruminations said...

I'm hoping TODAY is a better one for you ... sounds like yesterday was challenging indeed! Remember Milton Berle reminds us that "Laughter is an instant vacation."
Hugs and blessings,

Evil Twin's Wife said...

That WAS hell! OMGosh...I don't know how you managed to not just pack everyone up and hit the liquor store early! LOL.

Jennifer said...

Wow, that was some day. Now I feel kind of bad for bitching when I only have 3 children. Although taking the diaper off and laying with it sucks no matter how many children you have. Unless, I guess, if they wipe it all over all of the other children. Then, you know, how many children you have really does matter.

The Jacobsen Family! said...

ROFL! Mostly because I've had days like that... OK, maybe not quite so full of craziness (after all, I have half as many kids as you), but pretty crazy.
Yes, when DO we get to go away ALONE??

Jen said...

I am so sorry for your bad day!

blueviolet said...

Ok, I'm hoping you NEVER have another day like that again!

Staci said...

I really hope you had a good nap or at least a strong drink after all that chaos!

Linda @ My Trendy Tykes said...

you just reminded me . . .

I have to do laundry.