Just in case you're wondering...

I think I have a problem. Well...maybe more, but for the sake of this post (and my poor *dignity) we'll just focus on the one for now.

I seem to have this, ummm... anal retentive perfectionism thing going on. My niece called me OCD. And not in a good way. (Atleast, it didn't sound good. But she's a teenager so really, who knows!) But I think it's time to bring it out in the open. The first step to freedom is admitting you have a problem right? Step up and tell the truth. And the truth shall set you free.

My name is Heather. And I have 3 blogs. And I am constantly changing them. For those of you who *may have already noticed this, I don't think it's because I have multiple personalities and am attempting to please them all .Though I could be wrong. It's been known to happen. Once or twice. A day. It's because I can never seem to represent exactly who I am, only a part of me. I've tried to break myself down into labels. I'm fighting a losing battle. I'm not just a homeschooler. Or a wife. Or a mommy. Or a christian.

I can't define myself by one aspect or one part of who I am, and what my purpose is. I am a homeschooler. A wife. A mommy. A christian. I am all of those things. And more. (But if you've ever talked to me for more than 5 minutes then you know what a complete mess I am so anything 'more', okay anything less too, isn't because I'm so great or anything.)

I'm ready to see the *big picture. I'm ready to start putting together all the pieces of the puzzle that is my life. Right here. For all the world to see. Okay, so it's *slightly unlikely that 'all of the world' actually reads this. Or ever will. But it's here if they want to. (And why wouldn't they?? :)

So for those of you who know me or have read my other blogs...you might see a few familiar posts. :) They might be better now. So just wade through it! Keep the good stuff. Forgive the bad. Hopefully you'll be inspired. Or at least not offended. I apologize in advance for the randomness that is me.
And I leave you with this thought... any one else ready to get out of the shaker with me?

God, pick up the pieces. Put me back together again. You are my praise!

ummmm ....

Apparently the visitor will be delayed by about 9+ months. And Thing 6 IS in the works. Atleast, according to EPT....





In other news, a house on 1 acre has fallen from the sky and will be ours in 3 weeks.

Imagine that!

On my last nerve...maybe.

You know that 1 nerve that we all have. Yes, the last 1. As in "You are getting on my last nerve!" How do you really know it's the last one? What if there are more, secret nerves that come out to replace all of the ones that you've lost. And where exactly do all of those nerves go?

I have been on my last nerve for days now. If, in fact it is the very last one. It's frazzled and frayed and falling apart. And there are these things hanging from it...as in Thing 1 and Thing 2 and Thing 3 and Thing 4 and not~so~much Thing 5 but *most definently the biggest Thing of them all. I think they think it's a tight rope or something b/c they're doing tricks on it. Pulling it down. Yanking on it and bouncing on top of it. I'm afraid it's going to snap, and they're all going to fall down.

It's not thier fault really. They are just doing what they were designed to do ~ kinda like monkeys in the zoo, hanging around doing odd monkey~things.

But I have been waiting for a visitor...who seems to have bailed. Maybe it's lost with all of those nerves. But this is a very important visitor. You know the one that we all dread each month until it doesn't show up. Ya that's the one. Have you seen it? Did it stop by to visit you first? If you do see it, please send it my way.

I'm freaking out here. Just a little. Can you tell? I can't help it. Everywhere I go it's babies and more babies. Or women who are about to have babies. What if it's in the water? I should stop drinking water. Don't get me wrong. I love babies. I'm very very prone to getting 'baby fever'. That's why we have 5 already. But I'm trying NOT to get baby fever 'cause Thing 5 just turned 1 yr and it's about that time.....lol. But right now ALL I can think of are all the reasons that it would NOT be good timing.

Are you listening God? We have NO room. And I don't mean no room as in, "We could rearrange if we had to." I mean we have no room as in, we were buying a house that fell through and ended up in a 34ft Rv. With 5 kids. SO either send 'the visitor' or send a house. And if You want ... I could use some more nerves too. Because as You read above, I'm down to my last 1.

RTT: So Lotta Random, so little time...

I haven't done Random Tuesdays in a while because there have been So Many Other Things keeping me busy. So busy in fact, that I was actually scared to open my Google Reader this morning. But I Kept On Persevering through the fear and clicked on it anyway and up pops Keely. I just couldn't resist her Efficiency.

• Yesterday I did something new. I decided I was going to Embrace the FreshNewStartiness of Mondays. Sadly, Monday decided not to Return My Embrace. Rude! So.... Yay Tuesday!

• I think I am going to Stop Overanalyzing the fact that I over analyze Everything and just go with it. HOWEVER, I believe that "A closed mouth gathers no foot." which leads to me think that Brevity is Good. So I'm not going to overanalyze things Out Loud anymore.

• This doesn't count because I'm typing Quietly.

• Thing4 was talking to me after school about how his day had been. I was listening to him while I was cleaning the kitchen. Which means asking Alot of Very Specific questions if you want to know anything important and otherwise MMhmmm'ing in the right places.

Cause I'm a good mom like that ;)

• He tells me he learned SO Much and I was like You DID? That's Awesome! What did you learn? Ummm..... I can't really remember.

AND THEN... "My friend Jacob told me he has a coochie. Mommy what's a coochie?"
WHAT!?
Ya.
So, I'm thinking I'm going to be hs'ing next year.
Because if my KINDER-GARDENER is hearing that word,
WTSamHeck is my 3rd Grader hearing?

• Apparently, I do not Adapt Well To Change because I am NOT happy that someone broke my Facebook. WtHeck!? Really?? I LOVE my friends. So much. But I just don't feel the need to know Every Single Thing they do. Do we really Need to know every time they become Friends with SomeoneIDon'tKnow? or are a Fan of SomeCrapIDon'tCareAbout? NOPE. Not so much.

• Life Tip: Make sure you get dressed BEFORE you make your coffee K!? No need to thank me. I'm just Looking Out for YOU.

• My kids are So Freakin Excited about halloween being this weekend. We don't normally do traditional halloweeny stuff. But this year a friend is having a birthday/ Trick Or Treating party. So we're going to go. I just want to make sure that they understand that I get ALL of the Peanut M & Ms we are not going to crack out on candy for the next week.

Now go post your own Random Tuesday Thoughts and link up @ The UnMom.com because I cleared out my Google Reader and now I have absolutely nothing to distract me from my laundry :)

Ya so I had this amazing plan....

to Embrace the FreshNewStartness of Mondays...


I was inspired by This Post and some of the comments because, well, me and Mondays have just never been friends.

Fridays excite me because I know for Two Whole Days the only thing I really have to worry about is the kids.

Okay, let me rephrase that... The only thing I have to worry about during the day is the kids... and then I can get my CDO on at night Cleaning Up All The Messes because I don't have to wake up at the Stupid O'Clockk the next morning.

But they made Monday sound SO wonderful! All of a sudden Monday became so exciting... Fresh and New and Full of Hope.

Ummm... ya.

So this morning, I wake up to "IT'S 7:30 I WAS SUPPOSED TO LEAVE FOR WORK A 1/2 HOUR AGO. I gotta leave RIGHT NOW! Aaaand btw, the kids missed the bus.. "

Did I mention that we only have 1 car right now?

And I look at the alarm clocks (YES, I use Two) and they are both BLINKING obnoxiously...

Apparently, Monday is not Returning My Embrace. Thankfully I don't have to Depend On Mondays for a Fresh New Start.

So for those of you who are like me...

All we need is Love.

Go after a life of love as if your life depended on it—because it does.


That's all. You can continue with the rest of your day now ;)

I don't even think words exist to adequately describe the hellaciousness that was my day

Yesterday was the.day.from.HELL. I am POSITIVE that somehow, at some time ... atleast once during the day I absolutely earned the Worst.Mother.EVER! award. Not exactly what I was aiming for.

I was in Cdo Clean mode.What's the best way to get something CLEAN???? Move EVERYTHING out of your way! Aaaaand while you've already got everything torn apart ya might as well just rearrange the Entire room. And if you're switching that room, why not just do 2 or 3 or 4 more???? While I was busy doing that... the Little Things were busy doing All.Kinds.Of.Stuff.

• Thing1 put a hole in his thumb with the stapler.
• Thing2 hit Thing 3 in the mouth with a hammer.
• A hammer!!!
• She was trying to *fix her chair and apparently Thing3 thought it would be a good idea to stand BEHIND her.
• While she swung.a.hammer.
• You can imagine all the bloodshed for yourself.
• ALSO .. apparently... everything I say to Thing2 is considered (by her) to be *optional suggestions as opposed to the adamantinstructionthatyouMUSTobey that I consider it to be.
• I really wanted to hit her.
• I didn't.
• I wouldn't.
• I've never hit anyone in my entire life and I'm certainly NOT going to start with my 8yo. daughter.
• Who I really do love so much. 
• Even though her behavior was not quite so loveable.
• But I really really wanted to.
• What kind of mother wants to hit their child????
• It is IMPOSSIBLE to walk away when you are a sahm of 6.
• Okay, I'm exaggerating a little bit.
• It's not impossible to walk away... but it is completely impossible to walk away ALONE!
• Thing6 aka *theDiaperAnnihilator found the way out of his diaper
• He was so quiet I thought he was still sleeping.
• It had some stuff in it.
• He used it to decorate. All.over.his.crib.
• While I'm giving the baby a bath Thing5 comes in to *potty.
• And for some strange reason has to take off every article of clothing currently being worn to do this.
• She does what she has to do and instead of immediately regarbing, takes off running...
• Out the door....
• So if you happened to be driving in Tampa yesterday and you saw a soaking wet crazy woman carrying a half naked baby in a towel chasing a totally naked 3 yo around the  backyard....
• Ya.
• That would have been me.
• Aaaaand I put a PadLock on the fridge.
• You think I'm joking.... but I am SO serious.
• Access Denied!

That's not even half of what went on... but I'm getting Emotionally.Exhausted. just thinking about it. Soooo I'm going to go daydream about taking a nap. And you, well, you can go get your random on.

Keely's Random is *SuperFly.

The one where God surely does have an ironic sense of humor...

One thing I have always always known, regardless of anything else, is that I wanted to be a wife and a mom. No matter what else I did ...that was a *given.

I remember praying for this as far back as I can remember. And my only *request, was that the man I fell in love with would have a passion for me that was so intense it would only be superseded by his passion for Christ.

Had I known then what I know now I would *most definently have thrown in a few more particulars about dishes and diapers ;)

Of course I was really only expecting to have 1... maybe 2 kids.

Hahahaha.

SO... my Alohaa Friday questions for YOU are...

1. Is there anything you've always just KNOWN about your life?
2. Does it look the way you expected it to?

Now, head on over to An Island Life to link up and answer some other, more interesting Aloha Friday questions.

Thing1 is SOOOO grounded

He doesn't know it yet. Right now he's passed out drooling on his pillow like a sailor on leave at the end of a 3day drinking binge.

My firstborn. My most intelligent, most responsible child

was on Facebook at 3am.

How do I know this? Because when I logged in at 7:53 this morning I got this notification...

Tristan challenged you to a quiz. View quiz >> 5 hours ago.



Didn't really think that one all the way through didja?

The next time you get to tell Facebook What's On Your Mind will be about the time Thing6 starts preschool.

So my darling Thing1. I'm happy to see that you're so *itk on short text words.

Maybe you can figure this one out.

G4L!

Now, I'm off to try and figure out how to lock this baby up. Or down. Or .. idk cause I've never had to do it before. But just know this. Compared to getting into this computer .. getting into Fort Knox will be like takin candy from a baby.

Actually that's really not so easy.

Have you ever tried it? Babies are very ...grabby.

I'm gonna try again.

Compared to getting into this computer .. getting into Fort Knox will seem like a piece of cake.

Yummy chocolate cake.

Now I want cake.

So I'm off to put the cuffs on Thing1.

Well... maybe I'll just go find some cake first ;)

Not Because I Could Hear You....

Okay. So, Thing4 was doing something he wasn't supposed to be doing.

Because that is what he does best.

He was behind me and he thought I was distracted playing with Thing6.

*All knowing Mommy "Elijah! Stop it right now!!!

*Shocked Thing4 "But how did you know..??? "

Deep thoughtful silence ....

"OHHHH ... you saw me with your back eyes didn't you???"

Yessss. Yes I did.

What really? Reeaally?

Oh. My. Goodness.

Do you think it's bad that before I can write anything I have to *clean my blog.

Yep. I just scroll up and down looking for things I don't like so I can delete them.

Some ... ahem Beenie... might call that ocd.

Others ... me!!!... might disagree.

Okay, so I like things a little ... neat. And if that neatness extends to mayo on a piece of bread then, so be it!

Alright I admit it. it's sick. I cannot, cannot make a messy sandwich.

I like things to be neat. Not that they ever are. Well, they are, but only for about 2.5 seconds, which, I just happen to know is Thing4's record for completely trashing a *just scrubbed bathroom. Or a clean pair of pajamas.

Tonight he was skateboarding inside the house. Inside! The kids were all laying on the couch watching DCMovie so I went to "the Garage" (read: man!cave) to talk to SomeOne and within 7 minutes Thing3 was outside to let us know that Thing4 was not only skateboarding through the house, but he had built some kind of ramp involving chairs & jumpropes. Seven minutes.

Maybe he's going to be a world famous engineer or something.

According to him he's going to be a *Fire Fighter.

Don't mistakenly assume ...as I did...that that means he's actually going to put out fires though.

No.

He's just going drive around in the Fire Truck with the siren on all day.

Because that's a *sweet ride.

And he can go fast.

And because the other cars move out of the way for the Fire Truck.

And that's awesome.

Think he spends too much time in the man!cave?

Yes, they are all mine.

So I read something earlier that completely crackered me up.

It was a post devoted to one of the first questions and most asked questions that I hear when someone finds out that I have six children.

And I Completelyyy Understood her frustration.

My 2nd Most asked question is tied between "You mean you gave birth to all of them???" (The answer is yes by the way. Every single one of them. ) and "Do they all have the same father?'' Again yes.

Sometimes I am tempted to say ... no. they all have three different fathers.Each. I'm not really sure what they're expecting to hear.


My favorite (picture this word dripping with sarcasm) definently has to be "You know what causes that right?" or any variation of that sentence. Apparently there are many ways to ask the exact same question. And they are all equally annoying.

Um.... ya. We've managed to figure that out. Thankss... ;)

What are your Most Asked mom questions?

Randomness

So how was ya'lls day today?

Mine was good. I've been organizing;)

Today has been ~& still is~ one of those days where my brain just decides to do it's own thing. Without consulting me. It just goes fluttering around. From here to there. Picking random things up and cluttering my head with them.

And then all of those random things keep jumbling around until I declutter them. (I know. I love her too! I'm too...er.... OCD about cleaning to use her system but.... I really love all of her lists!!!!)

Hmmm..I really need to find some type of recovery program for this list thing.

I wonder if I can 27 fling thing (however you say it) my brain. Maybe not so much the 27 thing part. But definently the fling part. I can just picture myself standing there flinging things out of my brain.

But I'm not cleanin up the mess!

Speaking of *things. Thing5 was laughing about something (she's very random too) and she looked at me and says "Mommy you cracker me up!" And now everytime I think about something funny I hear her saying that and it crackers me up too.

Well that's convenient

Guess what we saw today? You're never going to believe it.

A rose.

Made out of panties.

Now I'm not completely naive. I understand that there is obviously a huuuge market for those things.

I mean, Really.

What girl wouldn't want one?

What shocked me about it, was that they were being sold at the cash register of the local convenient store.

The one where I have take my children in with me to get stuff.

My children.

Half of whom, are still in the if~you~can~get~it~in~your~grabby~little~hands~then~it~must~go~into~your~mouth phase.

It doesn't always make it to the mouth though.

On a good day.

Which today was.

But those hands are really .. grabby. And quick.

My children.

Who ask questions about everything. everything!

And not quietly either. Not even a little bit.

It's like they have a rule or something.

Must...ask...embarrassing...questions...as...loudly....as...humanly...possible.

But only with an audience.

The bigger the audience, the louder the voice.

Like they're taking a poll or something.

Ya think they're checking my answers?

Maybe I should rethink this homeschooling thing.

They might be learning too much.

Isn't there another rule out there somewhere that say mommy's always right?

Atleast when it comes to the little *Things.If not, we should definently get one of those.

That could be useful.

Anyway, the above combination of Things, convenient store counter paraphanelia & other people within hearing range is just not a good mix.

How is it a *convenient store if I still have to go to cvs?