Flinging diapers and the *surprises left in them!

Ok so *Elijah Jaye Moose* (Thing4/ 2yob) is going through this "I know how to take my diaper off and will do it whenever I want now" phase. I CANNOT keep up with the flinging of the diapers. He has even learned how to take his pants off to get to the unwanted diaper.

We are working on potty training, but I'm not so sure that it's a sign of potty training readiness. I think he likes to take it off simply because he can! AND he innately knows exactly what to do to make mommy INSANE. Most of the time it is not even wet, although once he left a *surprise* in it (YUCK YUCK and more YUCK)

This child ~ there is absolutely NO ONE that i could love more, or who possibly make me any CRAZIER than he can. But I just can't resist his cute little face!

Could you?

I think I have outsmarted him...atleast for now. I'm sure it won't last toooo long. He is very persistent. I put his diaper on *backwards* and so far he hasn't figured out that the *tabs to freedom* are simply on the other side (hahaa).

Paranoid delusions of granduer ...er i mean laundry.

I have a confession to make. To walk in my house, you would think that I'm a pretty clean and organized mom. That's because I'm a FIRM BELIEVER in surface cleaning (shhh don't tell my mother!) If the bathrooms are clean, the counters and tabletops are clear and the floor is picked up, it's clean enough for me! I threw my perfectionism out the window about 4 sets of dirty hands and feet ago. And I can live happily with that.

But the laundry...the BANE of my very existence...that's a completely different story. If you looked into my laundry closet you would probably NEVER speak to me again. I have this theory about laundry trying to take over and rule the world. You should hear it sometime. Or maybe not.

I am just waiting for some wonderful genius woman to invent *disposable clothes. That would be the most wonderful thing EVER.

We have ALOT of laundry, as you can probably imagine. I think the baby is actually the cleanest little person in our house. How sad is that? Or maybe it's my oldest son. This boy, will take a shower and try to put on the SAME DIRTY BOXERS that he just took off! I have actually had to start doing a daily boxer check on a 9 yr old! What is UP with THAT??

My girlies ~ the self proclaimed princesses ~ they LOVE to wear pretty dresses. I don't know where this fascination came from. It's a lucky day for my husband if he comes home to find me in jeans instead of pajamas. Fear not, he is very aware how HOT pajamas are. You don't need to tell him. Truly. He knows. I love pajamas. I will seriously take a shower only to put on MORE PAJAMAS. But they insist on wearing 'princessy (YA that's a word 'cause i just made it a word) clothes and if they get even one teeeeeny tiiiiny spot on it they MUST immediatly be regarbed in proper princess wear.

My toddler *the moose, is just a MESS. He somehow manages to get dirty no matter WHAT we are doing. Every Sunday I have to explain to the girls in Tiny Tots at churchthat YES he WAS clean when we put him in the truck and NO I have no clue HOW he got so filthy in the carseat. This child here, he is the only child I know who can actually get dirty IN THE BATH TUB. So, when I can manage to keep clothes on him, they are only clean for roughly...2 minutes. Really. I'm not exaggerating. Not even a little bit.

But I digress. I'm just procrastinating so that you won't see what a terrible 'sahm' i am.
I don't have alot of time to mess with the laundry. Ok really, that's just a different way to say that I procrastinate when it comes to laundry too. I wait and wait and let it pile and pile until it literally eyeballs me from the closet, which by this time is open because the laundry is finding it's way out the door, and practically BEGGING me to just WASH IT! And finally I will. And that's when the CLEAN laundry takes over my bedroom. And Bathroom. And wherever else it will fit.

But hey, the floor is clean enough to eat off of, which is a good thing because Thing5 has a particular fondness for hiding cheerios under the furniture...just in case she gets hungry later.

Starving Children

* Disclaimer ~ the following post may contain "parent only" language & content. If you think the phrase "You will not believe what was in his poop" might offend you or your stomach, ya might want to just skip down to the next post :)

1 of our 5 children ~ who I will not name ~ due to the fact that they can read~and sometimes look over my shoulder when I am on the pc~and might see this post and get VERY mad at me~has a blanket (we aren't mean, they all have blankets). But this is a little blanket. It's always been little. But it WAS bigger when we first bought it. We have noticed signifigant shrinkage in the blanket over time. *Unnamed child, has slowly been eating this blanket for YEARS. Until recently, I didn't realize that the blanket was actually being eaten. I just thought the child was chewing on the strings and pulling them out. And I am always saying "don't put that in your mouth, that's gross." Apparently, it's WAYYYY grosser than I thought.

I came home from my favorite place to go and my husband told me that *unnamed child had a stomach ache after I left, but was fine now. Then proceeded to crack up and give me the details. You will not believe what was in his poop! A string. Yes you read right. A string. Apparently a LOOOONG string. I said a prayer of Thanks. And sang the Hallelujah chorus. I'm so glad I was gone for that. I don't think we'll be serving blanket for dinner anymore. Is it just my children who are this wierd? Do your kids have strange blanket~eating fetishes? Should I feed them more maybe?

Hmmmm....

Do you remember Romper Room? Sometimes it seems as if I'm in an episode of, like, Romper Room Gone Wild or something. Do you ever feel like that? Maybe it's just me.

Sometimes I wonder what it would be like if we had that Average~2.5 kids~2 income~house in the suburbs with a picket fence and a dog that doesn't... relieve itself on the hardwood floors~American Dream kind of life.

Would I have *perfect hair? And manicured nails? Oooohhhh, I would definently pay someone ELSE to spray all of that SHOUT on the stains in the laundry. (SHOUT really works ya know. Just in case you were wondering. That is why you come here.. isn't it? For all of the great laundry tips:)

Sometimes, I use an entire bottle of SHOUT on 1 load of laundry. Fascinating right? I know, that's why I'm telling you. You don't have to thank me.

We don't, by the way. Have that life that is. Not even a little bit on a good day. Double the kids. Split the income in half. The dog, well... we gave up on pets when a~certain~little~girl~who~was~3 (but is no longer) decided to try and help her cute little pet chickie escape from the cage. According to her, little chickie stuck his head out of the bars and asked her to help him out. By his head unfortunately. It wasn't pretty. Yes, we were all scarred, but we try not to think about it. Don't worry. After 3 yrs of therapy we can now eat chicken again.

My hair... is not quite perfect. Okay it's nowhere near perfect aaand  I'll be honest and admit that my most used hair accessories include a scrunchee (the fact that if a scrunchee isn't available a pencil can also be used is just more proof that I keep up with all of the latest fashions from Vogue. ) OH and there's this AWESOME hair product I use. If you've never tried it then you're definently missing out. It's called D.R.O.O.L. Made from pure baby slobber. Great stuff. Really.

But then I remember that in order to have that life I would have to give up 2.5 of my children. How could I make my child go through life with only half of thier body? And which half would I choose? The right, the left. The top, the bottom.

The truth is, as CRAAAZZYYYY as they make me sometimes, I couldn't really give any of them up. Even for that oh~so~wanted laundry person.

That mom plays the name game.

I think I've become 'that mom'. No, not that mom, the other one. You know, the mom whose mind has completely evaporated to the point that she can't remember her child's name until she gets to it as she goes down the list. I've caught myself doing that SO many times lately.

One of my~little~blessings in disguise, will do something they aren't supposed to do (did I mention that they're not perfect either?) and I will start to call 'em on it, and then I caaaalllll the wrong name. That's when the list starts. And by the time I get it right, I am either (a.) feeling SO guilty (& more stupid than I care to admit) for not knowing my own child's name that I can't bring myself to continue or (b.) walking out of the room looking stern but really trying not to totally lose it because they cannot contain the amusement that they get from watching mommy act insane. It's a very effective discipline method, if you haven't guessed.

So I've come up with a solution.

....I am going to give them all the same name. That way, I can never get it wrong. And more importantly, I will look sane.

I know how important it is for children to have thier own individual identities. So, I'll give them different middle names.

On second thought, maybe I will call them out by name. Thing 1 and Thing 2, Thing 3 and Thing 4, Thing 5...

Thing 2itiveness

Would you think me a horrible mother if I told you that the REAL reason I cover my face when my children are saying thier prayers is because I don't want them to see me laughing? This one child in particular cracks me up. I know, it's just plain wrong. You're going to laugh too. Then we'll both be wrong.


Thing 2(6yog): "And Dear Lord please forgive us for all of the things we did and said that were not good today, and please forgive us for all of the bad things that we are about to do."
(Does this mean she's planning in advance?)

Thing 2 " Please God make me beautiful in You because I so LOVE being pretty."

Thing 2 "Jesus please bless my aunt Tina and help her not to be sad and help her to find a new racecar boyfriend who makes her happy. And please give her lots of princess dresses, *and me too, because pretty dresses make everyone SO happy. Especially meee."
(But not so much her Aunt Tina ~ who would rather take 6 kids under 10 to chuckee cheese by herself than wear a 'pretty princess dress. Have you ever tried to do that? Definently NOT something I would recommend. Ever. As in..to infinity and beyond NEVER. Just so you know how strongly I feel about this issue. Did I mention the word never yet? Okay, had to make sure.)

My sister doesn't have a 'racecar' boyfriend. In case the suspense is killing you. He drives an RX7. I think. I can't really remember. I know that it's yellow. ish. Or maybe gold. Although.. he does resemble Jeff Gordon. But he's good people so we try to overlook that. He is NOT a Gordon fan. That helps. SHE is. I guess that helps too. Well, it helps him anyway.

I think it's awesome that my children are just themselves before God. No pretenses. Just what's in thier true heart. The honesty in it just makes it that much sweeter. But I bet He's laughin too:)

ummmm ....

Apparently the visitor will be delayed by about 9+ months. And Thing 6 IS in the works. Atleast, according to EPT....





In other news, a house on 1 acre has fallen from the sky and will be ours in 3 weeks.

Imagine that!

Life goes on, sometimes.

I've been racking my brain and cannot find a way to make what I have to say even the least bit witty or inspiring. So I'm just going to tell ya'll and move on. Thanks for all of the happy encouraging comments on the ummmm post.

Unfortunately, it wasn't meant to be. I don't want to have a tearfest. I did that already. Yesterday morning when I woke up and realized what was happening. I got back in bed. Pulled the covers over my head. And proclaimed to J that nothing could make me get out of bed. And God quickly prompted me to remember that my son's best friend's mom was going to church with us. For the first time. And that nagging little thought would not leave my brain. So I got up. And life goes on.

If I weren't So freakin intuitive and didn't KNOW my body as well as I do, I wouldn't have even realized it. I would have passed it off as late and heavy. So, is ignorance bliss? In this case I would have to say yes! Unequivocally yes.

The thing that really gets me, is that I was *quite content without a 'Thing 6'. Until there was one. And the second I realized it, the desire of my heart changed completely. Now I want a Thing 6. And it's not there anymore. So what was the point?

I know there is a plan. But I didn't get the memo yet, so I admit I am absolutely clueless as to what the actual plan is. But really, how is that part different from any other day.

OMGosh! This week has been SO busy!

I am not doing ANYTHING today!

• School started Tuesday:)
• Thing4 started Kindergarten.
• I've been reading all of these posts about kids starting kindergarten.
• So many mom's are sad or anxious.
• Ya. You won't find any of that here.
• I've been doing the happy dance all.week.long.
• This week has been the most awesomely amazing week.
• Tuesday was the Best.Day.EVER!
• I would have run outside yelling that, as some people may have pictured me doing...
• But I figured the neighbors have seen more than enough of me lately already. You'reWelcomeVeryMuch!
• So I restrained myself ;)
• My Martha Brain thrives on anything that requires Planning, Scheduling, Organizing and LISTS!
• She has totally taken over so I am In.The.Zone
• It only took me like 30/45 minutes to clean the.entire.house.
• I had time to do *prek with Thing5.
• She practiced the letter A, shapes and colors.
• She also poured half a bottle of BedHead conditioner down the TIOLET!
• And.. ummm... gave herself a haircut... with the clippers... while I was making breakfast...
• Guess who left those down??? And PLUGGED IN!
• I got to dance around the family room with Thing6.
• We were totally rockin out to Ren & Stimpy.
• I have decided to stop fighting Martha and just embrace the sickness.

• I LOVE planning.
• Routines excite me.
• Schedules get me all hot and bothered.
• I won't even tell you what Lists do to me...
• Yes! I admit it! Cleaning turns me on!
• I am a MUCH better mom during the school year.
• Whatever.
• I am an organizer to the point of rampant OCDism.
• And I am Okay with that.
• Thing1 is homeschooling.
• The 6th grade curriculum was apparently not appealing enough....
• And the thought of getting naked in a locker room full of other people just sealed the deal for him.
• SO on top of the required curriculum... he is adding a course in media/graphic design and one of his (chosen) projects is to create a Graphic Novel.
• The Ultimate.Kid.Alliance vs Supermommy.
• MMMhmmmm.
• Do you think I should be worried?
• Because... I'm a little worried.
• What if they do this in real life? And win???

Cate seems to be
pretty busy today...

I don't even think words exist to adequately describe the hellaciousness that was my day

Yesterday was the.day.from.HELL. I am POSITIVE that somehow, at some time ... atleast once during the day I absolutely earned the Worst.Mother.EVER! award. Not exactly what I was aiming for.

I was in Cdo Clean mode.What's the best way to get something CLEAN???? Move EVERYTHING out of your way! Aaaaand while you've already got everything torn apart ya might as well just rearrange the Entire room. And if you're switching that room, why not just do 2 or 3 or 4 more???? While I was busy doing that... the Little Things were busy doing All.Kinds.Of.Stuff.

• Thing1 put a hole in his thumb with the stapler.
• Thing2 hit Thing 3 in the mouth with a hammer.
• A hammer!!!
• She was trying to *fix her chair and apparently Thing3 thought it would be a good idea to stand BEHIND her.
• While she swung.a.hammer.
• You can imagine all the bloodshed for yourself.
• ALSO .. apparently... everything I say to Thing2 is considered (by her) to be *optional suggestions as opposed to the adamantinstructionthatyouMUSTobey that I consider it to be.
• I really wanted to hit her.
• I didn't.
• I wouldn't.
• I've never hit anyone in my entire life and I'm certainly NOT going to start with my 8yo. daughter.
• Who I really do love so much. 
• Even though her behavior was not quite so loveable.
• But I really really wanted to.
• What kind of mother wants to hit their child????
• It is IMPOSSIBLE to walk away when you are a sahm of 6.
• Okay, I'm exaggerating a little bit.
• It's not impossible to walk away... but it is completely impossible to walk away ALONE!
• Thing6 aka *theDiaperAnnihilator found the way out of his diaper
• He was so quiet I thought he was still sleeping.
• It had some stuff in it.
• He used it to decorate. All.over.his.crib.
• While I'm giving the baby a bath Thing5 comes in to *potty.
• And for some strange reason has to take off every article of clothing currently being worn to do this.
• She does what she has to do and instead of immediately regarbing, takes off running...
• Out the door....
• So if you happened to be driving in Tampa yesterday and you saw a soaking wet crazy woman carrying a half naked baby in a towel chasing a totally naked 3 yo around the  backyard....
• Ya.
• That would have been me.
• Aaaaand I put a PadLock on the fridge.
• You think I'm joking.... but I am SO serious.
• Access Denied!

That's not even half of what went on... but I'm getting Emotionally.Exhausted. just thinking about it. Soooo I'm going to go daydream about taking a nap. And you, well, you can go get your random on.

Keely's Random is *SuperFly.

Defeated by the Master of Adorability. You may have won this time but this isn't the last you've seen of me.

O.M.Gosh. I think my Cdo Martha mind is starting to rub off on Thing5.

She just pitched a complete footstompingarmsgoingup&downamileaminutescreamingatthetopofherlungs hissy fit.

Because it was BedTime! and I wouldn't let her put her book in the right pile on her shelf and organize all of the other books that were laying on the floor.

What have I done to my child???

And then she totally suckered me into letting her stay up for a few more minutes engaged me in an absolutely fascinating and irresistible conversation.

Thing5 "Will you pleeeeesssssase lay with me for a few minutes?

*Me "You're a Big.Girl. Don't you want to go lay down in your bed like a Big.Girl?

Thing5 "No cause I don't wanna be all alone."

*Me "But you're never all alone cause Jesus is always with you."

Thing5 "But no he's not there right now."

*Me "I promise he's always there. No matter what."

Thing5 "Well I think he went down to my stomach for a little while."

And then proceeded to say...

"Jesus is the Best.Ever! And so is God! and I think he has sharp claws. Sharp claws that give you claw kisses. Oooh sharp claw teeth that give you claw teeth kisses. Like sharks. But not like the real sharks that eat you but like the nice sharks who talk and they don't eat you cause they like Sharkboy and Lavagirl."

*Me "Hmmm.... I'm just not sure about all that."

And then because I am a.complete.sucker my SuperMommyStayingPowers were weakened by such blatant adorability, I admitted defeat and when we were all snugglied together she looked up at me and whispered very softly "I love you mommy soooooooo much!"

Because a (notSO) SuperMommy knows it's easier to pick your battles.

And some battles are just worth losing ;)

So stop what you're doing and get up RIGHT NOW and go hug your kids!

Unless your kids are asleep and you reinforce the *He Who Wakes The Baby Gets The Baby Back To Sleep* rule like we do.

In that case, just go stand in the doorway and give them a very quiet *Air Hug.

Cause I'm surely not getting any more babies back to sleep tonight.

I am dooonnneee! The SuperMommy cape ...aka Thing4's blankie... is hung up for the day.

PleaseGodLetThemAllStayAsleepNowThatI'veOpenedMyBigMouth!

Guess what's coming up ya'll???

I LOVE their disclaimer.
Note: As we all know, plans can change, but this is what we expect.

Truth in advertising.

I'm totally using that from now on so....
if you know me, you can just expect to hear that from me in the future when we make plans ;)

I'm sorry I suck like that but iloveyou anyway.

I personally think that you should hug your kids everyday but hey... who am I to argue with a National Holiday?

I can see it now...

"Nope. Sorry. I already hugged you this year. You have 258 more days to go before your next hug."

I'm sure that would go over well.

So, here are 6 reasons to Hug Your Kids ... everyday :)


1. Because they cheerfully and gracefully suck up any punishment that you dish out...
Thing1 "You shouldn't ground me because I've been mommyblogged! Since when is public humiliation considered an effective form of discipline?"

2. Because they know how to cover their bases...
Thing 2 "And Dear Lord please forgive us for all of the things we did and said that were not good today, and please forgive us for all of the bad things that we are about to do."

3. Because they have such an extraordinary sense of smell...
Thing3 "This flower smells like...like....ummmm..." long, thoughtful pause ...
Mommy "...a flower?"
Thing3 "Nooooo." ...deep sniff of aforementioned flower ... It smells like A Beautiful Day!"

4. Because if you can't do it, they will...
Thing4 "It's okay Ma... don't be a scaredy cat... I got this"

5. Because they are unwavering in thier convictions....
Thing5 "Well. You're not the boss of meeee."
Mommy "Yes I most certainly am the boss of You. I am The Mommy! The Mommy is always the boss.
Thing5 "Well. You aaarrreee the boss of meeee."

6. Because they are just SO gosh darn huggable!

Now, that just makes me wanna go and find some slobbery baby kisses. Because those are my favorite ;)

So... go hug Your kids!

And have A Beautiful Day.

And if you're very very lucky ... maybe You can find some slobbery baby kisses too ;)

Thing1 is SOOOO grounded

He doesn't know it yet. Right now he's passed out drooling on his pillow like a sailor on leave at the end of a 3day drinking binge.

My firstborn. My most intelligent, most responsible child

was on Facebook at 3am.

How do I know this? Because when I logged in at 7:53 this morning I got this notification...

Tristan challenged you to a quiz. View quiz >> 5 hours ago.



Didn't really think that one all the way through didja?

The next time you get to tell Facebook What's On Your Mind will be about the time Thing6 starts preschool.

So my darling Thing1. I'm happy to see that you're so *itk on short text words.

Maybe you can figure this one out.

G4L!

Now, I'm off to try and figure out how to lock this baby up. Or down. Or .. idk cause I've never had to do it before. But just know this. Compared to getting into this computer .. getting into Fort Knox will be like takin candy from a baby.

Actually that's really not so easy.

Have you ever tried it? Babies are very ...grabby.

I'm gonna try again.

Compared to getting into this computer .. getting into Fort Knox will seem like a piece of cake.

Yummy chocolate cake.

Now I want cake.

So I'm off to put the cuffs on Thing1.

Well... maybe I'll just go find some cake first ;)

Not Because I Could Hear You....

Okay. So, Thing4 was doing something he wasn't supposed to be doing.

Because that is what he does best.

He was behind me and he thought I was distracted playing with Thing6.

*All knowing Mommy "Elijah! Stop it right now!!!

*Shocked Thing4 "But how did you know..??? "

Deep thoughtful silence ....

"OHHHH ... you saw me with your back eyes didn't you???"

Yessss. Yes I did.

What really? Reeaally?

Oh. My. Goodness.

Do you think it's bad that before I can write anything I have to *clean my blog.

Yep. I just scroll up and down looking for things I don't like so I can delete them.

Some ... ahem Beenie... might call that ocd.

Others ... me!!!... might disagree.

Okay, so I like things a little ... neat. And if that neatness extends to mayo on a piece of bread then, so be it!

Alright I admit it. it's sick. I cannot, cannot make a messy sandwich.

I like things to be neat. Not that they ever are. Well, they are, but only for about 2.5 seconds, which, I just happen to know is Thing4's record for completely trashing a *just scrubbed bathroom. Or a clean pair of pajamas.

Tonight he was skateboarding inside the house. Inside! The kids were all laying on the couch watching DCMovie so I went to "the Garage" (read: man!cave) to talk to SomeOne and within 7 minutes Thing3 was outside to let us know that Thing4 was not only skateboarding through the house, but he had built some kind of ramp involving chairs & jumpropes. Seven minutes.

Maybe he's going to be a world famous engineer or something.

According to him he's going to be a *Fire Fighter.

Don't mistakenly assume ...as I did...that that means he's actually going to put out fires though.

No.

He's just going drive around in the Fire Truck with the siren on all day.

Because that's a *sweet ride.

And he can go fast.

And because the other cars move out of the way for the Fire Truck.

And that's awesome.

Think he spends too much time in the man!cave?

You play ball like a giiirrrrrrrrl!

So, I had a pretty good day today. You?

I've been having a great big AHA moment.

Those are always good ;)

It's like there were all of these things just dumped out on the floor of my mind ... just there.... kinda like a bunch of Legos that have been knocked over and abandoned ... probably by Thing6... for a brighter, shinier new toy.

All of a sudden they've become this intricate thing like... well...like the things you can build with Legos if you can read the instructions. Which I can...not do apparently.

I know. Just follow the directions! It's not rocket science.

Thing 1 can.

Aaaand I'm feelin smarter and smarter all the time.

There should be a list of what to REALLY expect when you're expecting.

#1 Atleast 1 of your children will be smarter than you. And know it.

but you can blame that on ...

#2 Losing brain cells is a part of labor.
One minute they're there and the next...they're just gone.

Fooorrreeevvveeerrr.

In my mind this is said in the voice of the little kid from The Sandlot.

Ever seen that movie? Oh come on you're killin me Smalls!

I would look up a clip for you but I know how much you like to research things for yourself.

Ok I have absolutely nowhere to go after that so...

I DENIED Thing4 the mommykisswhichmakeseverything,everythingbetter today.

Ya. Mean mommy.

He was playing outside and got hurt and came in to get some *feel better so I hugged him and asked him what happened.

He looked at me in all teary eyed seriousness and said "Mommy can you kiss my butt cause I hurt it when I fell off my skateboard."

#3 Always Always Always ask where it hurts before you offer to kiss it.

Yes, they are all mine.

So I read something earlier that completely crackered me up.

It was a post devoted to one of the first questions and most asked questions that I hear when someone finds out that I have six children.

And I Completelyyy Understood her frustration.

My 2nd Most asked question is tied between "You mean you gave birth to all of them???" (The answer is yes by the way. Every single one of them. ) and "Do they all have the same father?'' Again yes.

Sometimes I am tempted to say ... no. they all have three different fathers.Each. I'm not really sure what they're expecting to hear.


My favorite (picture this word dripping with sarcasm) definently has to be "You know what causes that right?" or any variation of that sentence. Apparently there are many ways to ask the exact same question. And they are all equally annoying.

Um.... ya. We've managed to figure that out. Thankss... ;)

What are your Most Asked mom questions?

Well that's convenient

Guess what we saw today? You're never going to believe it.

A rose.

Made out of panties.

Now I'm not completely naive. I understand that there is obviously a huuuge market for those things.

I mean, Really.

What girl wouldn't want one?

What shocked me about it, was that they were being sold at the cash register of the local convenient store.

The one where I have take my children in with me to get stuff.

My children.

Half of whom, are still in the if~you~can~get~it~in~your~grabby~little~hands~then~it~must~go~into~your~mouth phase.

It doesn't always make it to the mouth though.

On a good day.

Which today was.

But those hands are really .. grabby. And quick.

My children.

Who ask questions about everything. everything!

And not quietly either. Not even a little bit.

It's like they have a rule or something.

Must...ask...embarrassing...questions...as...loudly....as...humanly...possible.

But only with an audience.

The bigger the audience, the louder the voice.

Like they're taking a poll or something.

Ya think they're checking my answers?

Maybe I should rethink this homeschooling thing.

They might be learning too much.

Isn't there another rule out there somewhere that say mommy's always right?

Atleast when it comes to the little *Things.If not, we should definently get one of those.

That could be useful.

Anyway, the above combination of Things, convenient store counter paraphanelia & other people within hearing range is just not a good mix.

How is it a *convenient store if I still have to go to cvs?

boy *Things & girl *Things

You wanna know what drives me crazy about trying to tell ya'll stuff sometimes? Words just don't look the way I say them. like, how often do you talk like this? Where every word is just clipped off neatly at the end. NO emphasis. No pronunciation. It's just ...wierd. Ooooor maybe it's just me? No. You're supposed to say NO.

I was thinking about when Thing 1 ~9yob~ was like 2. Closer to 3. But still 2. He has always been SO self reliant. He can & wants to do everything for himself. This was an extremely annoying trait to me when he was my only *baby. When I had all the time in the world ~ or atleast all the time in the day ~ to cater to his every little desire. But now, that there are 4 more not~so~self~reliant..make that 5 more, I am singing the hallelujah chorus.

I have a point. I just haven't gotten you to it yet. Hang on. I'm getting there.

I was talking to a friend (1 of the many 2) who I LOVE and we were talking about Thing 4. And how I have to make sure that no matter what I am always always up & at the very least, semi~coherent BEFORE he wakes up. Or Chaos will reign. & that is just *not the way I roll ;)

That made me remember when Thing 1 was like 2.

& he woke up first. And apparently... had a little time on his hands...before he came into our room all happy & excited. He made us breakfast. Just like daddy does. Cause he loves us so much. Ain't that just the sweetest thing?

You can see where this is going can't you? 2 yr old. Unsupervised. Kitchen.

Say it with me now... a recipe forrrrrrrrrrrr...... what? I can't hear you.

OmGOODNESS let me just tell you what we walked into. A lovely breakfast buffet. Uncooked 'scrambled eggs' ~the good kind~shells & all~ beautifully arranged on the front doormat. 3 bowls sat ontop of the coffee table. Full of jello. And cheerios. And milk. Yummy. A nice contemporary look ....a walkway made of cheerios & grape jelly ...led us into the kitchen.

Need I go on?

I find it oddly funny that the girls *Thing 2 & Thing 3, (Thing 5 is not old enough yet...thankfully;) who love love LOVE to be in the kitchen with me, have never experimented on thier own. And NOT because they are less adventurous. Trust me. I have had walls decorated with you~don't~even~want~to~know~what that just toss that theory right out the window.

Maybe it's a girl thing. Thou shall respect the kitchen. The kitchen shall become your friend. I really like the kitchen. Not so much, my kitchen. Just the kitchen in general, as a room.
I don't know why. I can only cook good enough to not starve my family. That's about it. OH but I make a *mean sausage gravy & biscuits. And pasta. And chicken. And porkchops. Okay, maybe I'm not as bad of a cook as I thought. I must have gotten a little better since the last time I checked. & That's always a good thing.

Overflow

I'm looking for that other mom. You know the one. The perfect mom. Where is she? I know she's out there somewhere. I've read about her. I've heard about her. Even been asked why I couldn't be more like her. Because, you know, she teaches perfect kids everyday. In her perfectly clean house. While she simultaneously runs her own business from home. Milks the cows every morning. Picks fresh vegetables from the garden for dinner. And bakes ... all kinds of bakie things all day in between rushing said perfect children to all of the most perfect activities.

I'm not so different from her.
I can multi task too.

I can wipe a snotty Thing 5 nose while taming a Thing 4~gone~wild, filling a sippy cup from a gallon of milk bought at Sweetbay, listening to a chattering Thing 3 AND making the appropriate mmmhhhmmm sounds at all of the right places, silencing an argument over ~whatever~Thing 1~&~Thing 2~are~currently~bickering~about with just a look, finding Someone Elsee boxers & a towel so he can take a shower because he can never seem to find them even though they are always in the same place, all at the same time. At which time I am also burning dinner & not baking anything.

How's that for talent?

If you happen to see that other mom, let me know. I'm hoping she will show up one day to help me with my laundry.

Sometimes I think I shouldn't be hatin on the laundry so much. But then I look at the overflowing hampers and ... well... it's just not loveable.

Oh and speaking of snotty noses. Or just snot in general. For the record. Rebecca, to answer to your question ~ apparently I am *indeed the queen of snotland and I am so feelin it this week. But don't worry ~ my crown is not made of the ordinary paper & crayon variety, but instead appears to be made from a nice cheeto/drool paste.

Because that's how we roll around here:D